Mixed emotions before christmas. I used to say I can do this. I can grow old alone. Here I am. 30. Single mom. Most of the time I wonder where the old me has gone. my loneliness has left me in a dark hole. Depression has taken me so damn down. I am not at all interesed with anything.

Before I went to this site to write, I was on google for hours trying to make sense of things... i was googling alone at 30s, how to be happy and meetups. stupid as it may sound. Okay, let this be a written admission that I am lonely.