I woke up feeling down today. I am not in the mood to do anything. My mind just wont stop thinking of what I don’t have, what I have and what I want to happen. I feel horrible thinking what I have at home is preventing this free spirit to soar. Stupid thought. I know for a fact that isn’t the truth.

I feel bored. Again. Bored when I work. Bored when I don’t work. Sala sa init, sala sa lamig. A few times I must admit I am quite satisfied. And ninety nine percent I would say I am not satisfied with everything I have. What do I want? I don’t know. I don’t get myself. And  Im tired trying to understand as logic is just not enough to explain how and what I feel. My decisions are uber stupid. I feel stupid. I am stupid.

I need to love myself more. How do I do it? How?

I need to go out. And I need to go out more. This is driving me nuts.

I want to work…but what do I want to do? How would I find work to be appealing? How will I last?

I need a change of everything… and I need to change ME.

All I want, all I need. Insane.

Im lonely now, and I don’t know how to get it back to good.