I find myself staring to nothingness.  Somehow everything just doesnt make sense. It just doesnt. I am feeling depressed again. I know I am. I dont need a doctor to tell me so. Cause I know that no one can cure me. No one but me? I am going crazy.

I cant seem to find anything worth laughing for. A real laugh, not the fake one I always share with people around me. 

I am tired. But just like breathing. Life just keeps going. I want nothing. I want everything. I want both at the same time. 

I want to die. But I am too pussy to leave.  Die.

But why hurry? I am old. Soon enough I'll die. Old, alone, burried in sadness.